...ok, well technically, that's not true. It's more like assimilated. See, they really aren't recruiting. It's an exclusionary environment, so they'd rather you didn't join - the more exclusive it is, the more elite it is. Elitism is good.
Oh, if you're not sure what a smuggy is,
click here.
However,
Change, when it comes, cracks everything open...Dorothy Allison, O Magazine
And I've gone through a major metamorphosis - not complete, but a huge change. I've been wide open. Thrown into this 'new' environment, I had a choice. Either remain true to self and resist change, or adjust and risk my integrity. I chose integrity (or so I thought).
The problem is that it's very alluring, this Smugginess. It appears to be the easy road to glory, to wealth, to fame. Once you assimilate, your peers embrace you, and welcome you into the fold. They analyze you, and negotiate to watch their back, as they watch yours. Integrity can make for a lonely experience, because you can primarily trust you & you alone. It requires avoiding the gossip-traders, who wield their own form of power. It also means avoiding the own-horn-tooters, and therein may lie the rub.
Tooting your own horn is also good. This shows how great an individual you are, and and what an asset to any organization you can be. If you can't/don't toot, then your bosses, peers, and other misc. folks won't know how excellent you are, or won't care. Not tooting can be a career hindrance.
I wasn't a tooter. I've worked on a variety of projects, with varying levels of visibility, and priority. My projects come in on-time or early, and under budget. However, I'm not a tooter. I'm also not promotable. Now - you feel me.
The assimilation began with that - learning to play "The Game", to toot, to pat-myself-on-the-back, to embrace the excellence within me. Sounds reasonable enough - not smuggy-per-se, just me "looking out for my career".
But that's never enough. You can't just be good in your own right to be promotable. You have to be better than average, and average is
them. Ah, here's the intoxicating part - because as soon as you say you're better than X who was promoted, you've pointed a finger. Once pointed, that finger takes on a life of its own. See X is better than Y, who is better than Z, and therefore, you're better than all three, and suddenly, you're better than
them.
Well, it's a slippery slope from there - the finger-pointing and the back-biting go hand-in-hand. With that comes a certain arrogance, and suddenly you're one of those aliens in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, screaming & pointing with your mouth wide open, at
them.
You've been assimilated.
The Borgs are everywhere too - from High School, to corporate offices, to professional organizations, to fraternal organizations, to churches, social organizations, and even on the 'Net...message boards in particular. They are cliques, and cliques are cool, they're comfortable, they're a haven from what ails you (until you realize they
are what ails you).
I've avoided them for a long time, successfully, or so I thought.
Until I caught myself pointing & laughing. Celebrating my superiority, to even the average smuggy. See, since I understood that I was wrong, then I was obviously superior to them. That tickled me. Yes, until I caught myself, pointing & screaming - and found that I was pointing & screaming/laughing at
me.
I am them and they are me.
And that's terrifying.
I need to regroup.
